Friday, June 10, 2011
@ 9:54 PM
Coming back to blogging, because I have nowhere to pour my troubles.
So afraid and depress to say this, but I am /giving up/.
Giving up on my dreams, my passion, and perhaps, my everything.
/It is killing me./
I am no longer happy. No longer cheerful, and certainly, I am no longer Me.
I'm losing myself. I know it as I counted my days with my fingers, instead of doing something to pass them.
I'm getting really really lost. There use to be happiness, sadness, and even frustrations. Those feelings makes me feel alive, makes me feel that I am actually feeling.... Yet now, all I felt to my life is emptiness.
Nothing more.
/Nothing More, ever./
So empty, that every drop seems to escape.
There's a hole there that cannot be mended.
I must get out before anything happen to me. Before I really lose my sanity to this.
I can't do it anymore.
Call me a coward, but now all I wanna do is run away and never look back.
I give up.
I am so disappointed.
/This isn't the life I wanted./
Now, all I wanted is Out.
Out of here.
Out of this Life.
/I stopped dreaming./
Because all it left is nightmares and nothing.