Tuesday, June 29, 2010
@ 11:00 PM
Code of the Day...
Closing my eyes, shutting my ears.
There's nothing wrong with me wanting to escape this cruel cruel world.
-
I have worked in my ward for abt 3 weeks now...
And its like HELL.
-
Motivation have come swift, and gone swift as well.
I'm sure everyone is feeling it... the demoralization.
We're getting yell at, we're getting put down, we have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to pour those sorrows that are welling in our chest.
We have no outlet. Our spirits are being crushed.
I'm dying, I really am.
Every single day I work, I tried my hardest.
I woke up and tell myself, 'Hey, today will be a good day...'
Hey, then who knows? The moment work starts, I get put down.
Its like aiming the nozzle of an extinguisher towards the center of a flaming fire.
It dies off.
We're like that flame.
They are our extinguisher.
The passion I once had are diminishing.
I'm trying to renew it everyday by telling myself, 'It'll be a good day.'
Yet I know its nothing short of a lie that blinds me to the brutality.
They are nice.
But sometimes their way of showing it hurts.
Hurts so badly, that even tears had run dry.
I wanted to cry.
Yet nothing will come.
I have been denied.
People may have thought of me as being a little over with my statement...
But this is how my heart truly felt at this moment.
As I live everyday in my so-called 2nd home...
Home is where the dreams come true.
Where you find peace.
Yet it's giving me nightmares.
I'm trying, I really am.
Thanks to some of the little help along the way by my teachers.
I can still find some strength to move on.
But like I said before.
I'm dying.
++
Where is my saviour?
I have prayed every night for a good day.
Is this my punishment?
I just wish that there is one day I can be spared.
Can you please hear my pleads?
The pleads of a disappearing passion, a wavering stand, and a dying heart?
++